I ate this at Portland, OR
Tue, Apr 9, 2019
Read in 4 minutes
Yes, that’s a slice of pizza with spaghetti on it, and it’s available for Pizza Week 2019.
Whether or not Pizza Week is the best week I couldn’t say: at the very least, it’s tied with Burger Week. What I can say is that it’s easily the most affordable: $2 for a slice of pie, which is definitely a screamin’ deal. There are also a lot of pizzas this year: more than 40, which I believe is a record.
A friend asked me for my thoughts, and after I put together a list of the slices I’m going to try and bag in a week or two I thought I’d put it up here as well, and we’ll see how many of them I actually manage to eat.
I’ve split things out into a couple categories:
✔ Elote Pie - Blackbird Pizza
When my wife first told me about elote I thought it sounded disgusting. Now I can’t get enough of it. Unfortunately a lot of “restraurants” have a really hard time getting it right, so I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but a elote pizza sounds amazing.
Star Wipe - Rouge Pearl Public House
Not the most inventive thing, but it looks pretty good, and with the rest of the off-the-wall slices on this list it might be nice to just…relax for one of them.
Fez Merguez - Rovente Pizzeria Williams
I am historically and famously squash-opposed, but that’s a food issue I should probably get over and I love Rovente’s more classical fare, so I’m going to give this one a shot. Plus, the rest of it sounds amazing.
Burger Pizza - Atlas Pizza
I love pizza. I love hamburgers. Will I love a pizza with a hamburger on it? I loved a hamburger with a pizza on it, so I think the odds are good.
Sophia Loren - Atlas Pizza
Unless they’re chopped up real small, I’m not generally a fan of peppers. Mama Lil’s I do enjoy (although I usually chop them up), and the rest of this pizza sounds like a delicious sweet/savory combo, so I’m ready to roll the dice.
Kindly Go Duck Yourself - East Glisan Pizza Lounge
There are a lot of things on this pizza that are basically big old hunks of an onion-like product, and that’s usually something I shy away from, but:
a) Easy Glisan Pizza Lounge is staffed by pizza wizards
b) I’m not sure what “truffled farmer’s cheese” is but it sounds great
c) It’s called Kindly Go Duck Yourself
✔ The Brookie - Pizza Jerk
I’m really not generally about jalapeños, which I think are both an over-used and a not-very-good pepper, but I do like pickled things, and the combo of bacon and hot honey sounds heavenly.
Fearless Vampire Killer/Date Night Special - Straight From New York Pizza
I’ve been trying to eat more onions (just for palate-expanding reasons) and I’ve been doing okay, so I kind of want to try this one because I do love garlic. I worry it might be too onion-y, though.
M.A.D. Cat - CHAR
Another risky option. Sauerkraut on a pizza is going to be delicious or disgusting. I don’t see a lot of middle ground. Same for pastrami, honestly. “We got the idea talking to a drunk guy at a dive bar on Foster.” Hmm.
BiCeP (Bella’s Incredible Cacio e Pepe) - Bella Pizza
This creation pushes the bounds of what we can even call pizza. Does it push them too far? Almost certainly: It’s literally just a wad of spaghetti on a piece of flatbread. I love both those things, though, so here we are. This is also likely the only context in which you’ll see me voluntarily let kale into the crumbling, haunted temple that is my body.
Mac ‘n’ Cheese - Handsome Pizza
This slice looks you in the eye and says “Go on. Say I’m not really pizza. Do it, you fucking coward” and I love it and I’m here for every minute of it. Tied with everything else in this category for dumbest slice of “pizza.”
✔ The Wedge - Hogan’s Goat
Someone literally just tossed a few salad ingredients on a piece of cheese pizza. Is this the laziest slice? (No; that’s the vegan slice with the audacity to call itself “Classic Pepperoni”) The (classic) Wedge you get at restaurants is really barely a salad, so it seems fitting that someone try and combine it with cheesy flatbread to make something that’s barely pizza.